Written By: Michael Sandoval

“The Perfect Circle” II

Not seeing vs. Being Blind

The perfect circle was not so perfect. I was letting everyone down… I was working about 16-18 hours a day, not sleeping well and trying to push the envelope through intensity. Internally I felt as if I had to make everyone else work just as hard and long as I was.

In hindsight, I realize now that I was working harder instead of smarter. I was driving my team away and it was making me miserable. I didn’t know how things would be able to change.

“Personal Rock Bottom”

I don’t know how I didn’t realize that everyone was miserable just like I was. Instead of the kitchen and work being my escape (the Mecca i always considered it to be), it was starting to turn into a treacherous battle field where young cooks were being demolished on a day to day basis.

I remember the day like it was yesterday……. A young cook pulled me aside and let me know the truth!

“Chef, this isn’t right…. These guys look up to you, they want to be like you… you have changed for the worse and if this continues, you are going to lose your team.

Although I had been told on several occasions that the team was tired and unhappy, I would shrugged it off and pretended as things would change by themselves. It was the emotional and truthful expression of the young man that made me wake up and realize that this had to be the defining moment to use the word that I had been using so casually…… CHANGE!

The very next day! I called a team meeting. I needed to have everyone in front of me so that I could speak to them.

I spoke from the heart. I told them the truth… I was not me… I told them that I was treating them far worse than they deserved… I apologized sincerely from the depth of my heart and told them that today would be the beginning of a new environment! It was going to be the first day of the future. We were going to get back on track and it was going to start with me. It took a lot of courage to stand up in front of 27 young adults. As their leader I had to admit that I was wrong, I was unfair and that I was not being a good role model.

Truly thinking and believing that you are doing the right thing can be very dangerous; especially in an intense environment like a professional kitchen. It can be detrimental to the future of the next generation of cooks.

After that day I felt as if a tremendous rock was lifted up off of my shoulders. I felt as if I was born again. I had a lot of work to do to re-gain the trust of close colleagues and staff. I was ready and eager to show everyone the real me again.

I was ready to work for them, fight, teach and represent my philosophy in the way that it was intended. I was ready to show the world that although I was imperfect, I would never stop trying to achieve…..