Written By: Michael Sandoval

“The Waiting Game” P. II

“Never take life for granted”

I sometimes find it embarrassing telling the story of getting into a skateboarding accident…. I’m sure people wonder; how bad could an accident be on a skateboard?

Well let me tell you….

I ended with two temporal fractures causing blood discharge from both of my ears, Bell’s palsy making the left side of my face droop and my right eye remain open at all times. The most difficult part to endure……The loss of smell and taste!

It might as well have been a car accident!

I had fallen backwards traveling at a very high speed. I was doing a back slide and directly landed on the back of my head on asphalt. I was told that I completely neck rolled and ended up face down. The fear didn’t come from the fall but from the convulsions and non-responsiveness.

I assume that you could understand my pain…. The only moments that I was painless was when I was given the morphine and or was asleep.

“Waiting to Work”…..

I was told that I had to be away from work for three months!! This made me angry! I was just about to launch my first menu implementation for the spring season as the new Chef de Cuisine.

I was not going to let this happen!!!

I clearly remember that evening! The night that I heard about how long people thought that I needed to recover. I was not to be expected back to work anytime soon.

“I am not an imbecile, I’ve just hit my head” I screamed out-load! I leaped from my bed and started to power walk across the entire hallway proving to the world that nothing was going to hold me down….

Down was right… I literally collapse! The pain in my head was unbearable. I had no strength and was emotionally drained.

I was in the hospital for about 5 days. It was difficult to look at myself in the mirror. I saw a broken person with a deformity in their face. I would look at myself for long extended periods and without words I would speak.

My emotional mind told me that I would never be the same again; that this portion of my life would define my future…. I felt as if I was in a civil war. There was an ultimate battle occurring in my mind and I knew that it had to be WON! I just didn’t how, nor how long it would take!

I arrived home and discovered that it wouldn’t be easy…. Normal task like taking a shower and going to the bathroom were painful. Sleeping was a mission. I would have to set alarms so that I could switch sides, allowing the blood to escape from my ear cavity (each morning I would wake up with a bloody pillow). I would be forced to scotch tape my eye shut so that it would close properly. Each time that the tape would come undone my eye would open and I would wake.

My loving girlfriend at the time had to set up an inflatable mattress inside of the living room for us to sleep. It was painful to get in and out of our normal bed.

This wasn’t something that I was going to be able to get through on my own.

THANK YOU!! To all of the people that were there for me including my loving mother who traveled from a different state to be by my side. I couldn’t have done it without you all!!!

I was home for 5 days, slowly recovering and continuously attending therapy in efforts to get better. The Bell’s palsy was not going away and I was told that it could possibly last an entire year. I had been given a daily task. I was directed to smell arromatic candles every day so that I could test my senses. Eating was also an emotional occurrence…. I would have food in my mouth and couldn’t determine flavor… I may as well have been eating cardboard.

WHAT WAS I GOING TO DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????????????????

After 5 days at home I started to connect with my dear friend, partner and Ex. Sous Chef of Bouchon Mathew Alba. It was Friday and we would have a menu change the following week on Monday.

Against everyone’s direction, advice and expectations I told him that I would be there! I needed to be there! I wanted to be there to guide the team, support them and feel as if we were in this together…

I needed them and the kitchen more than ever.

The drive to work was difficult for me. I pretended as if I was admiring the extraordinary view of the vineyards, but in actuality I couldn’t stop looking at myself in the side view mirror.

I wondered what the team would think when they saw me? How would they react to my drooping face and my slurring voice attempting to give them direction? Would I have the courage to stand up in front of 30 people and pretend that it was all going to be OK?

Was I back to soon?

Should I have had more Patience? 

Should I have “Waited”?????

Please stay Posted for the Third episode of the story.

Released:

Sunday, 5.17.2020